1. |
After the End
02:47
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I watch the whole of a snooker tournament
I watch all 36 episodes of an American cartoon
I watch the Winter Olympics
Especially ice-dance and the luge
What happens After The End?
Carry my hot-water-bottle around the house
Buy myself a fitted fleece electric blanket
I go to bed at odd times of the day
Though I'm up at other times in the night
What happens After The End?
Took your necklace off on Day One
Took your photos off the pin-board, day sixty-two
But your eyes are in my bones
Your words are in my shoes
What happens After The End?
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2. |
Life I
00:09
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3. |
You
03:52
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You don't love me the way I have always loved you
Could you list the 52 unique ways you love me
Like the look of my upper thighs in boots and
The way I make gravy?
No, you can't
You don't love me the way I have always loved
When you see me walking along a street at a distance
Or I come in the far door of a room does your
Heart flood with love like squid ink?
No. Didn't think so
You don't love me the way I have always
The moment we very first met was I magnetic?
A pull that would rip you from your world and
Launch you into space on a gamble?
No, you felt nothing
You don't love me
When I'm not there do you have me in your head like a hologram
And imagine how I'd respond to
This thing or that thing?
No, why would you?
You don't
Would you prefer to say goodbye and wait
for someone else younger and
Less like the wind to fall in love with you?
Or will you love her more than she loves you?
You
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4. |
Edinburgh
03:23
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And when the plane lands
And Edinburgh is just a dream
A bath on lion's feet, the purple glen
Your tongue and your fingers part of me
You get the anagram
'Castile' at 14 across
As we lean in, stock up on your smell
Of honey and peppercorns
We hold hands
In the turbulence
Walking boots on, if we go down
I've heard that it helps
Put your seat upright, stow your table away
Thank you for flying with us
Please take all your personal belongings with you
Have a pleasant onward journey
When the plane lands
Edinburgh is dead and gone
A bath on lion's feet, the purple glen
Your fingers. Your tongue.
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5. |
Black Hole I
00:25
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6. |
A Year Maybe Two
02:34
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My friends say
Take a year, maybe two
But I'm not sure
You said I wasn't square enough or round enough
I gave you things for safekeeping which you lost
You made me cry then laughed at me for crying
And I stayed
Love has made a fool of me
With your soft hands you brought me to my knees
Kept me working like a waitress in a fancy restaurant
While you sat there and ordered in your jeans
And I said 'Thank you'
Desire has made a fool of me
A fool I've been
But I'm not ashamed
Because I will judge my life
By desire and love
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7. |
Spiderbelly Says
02:03
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spiderbelly said an open relationship was the perfect arrangement
and for 24 hours i believed him
i feel like i've swallowed a cat
how can i cycle along castle park?
i struggle to have conversations with people
because of the fur balls, you see
i order some food and
am flummoxed by the choice of sauces
none of them will help
swallow a cat
here pussy, pussy!
i try to
build its trust
so it will creep out of its own accord
but it is too scared
and won't go up or down
just sits in my throat
fluffy and fat with a fixing of claws
it jumped in
the day after
you told me about
the other girls
here pussy, pussy!
i'm on my way to chat with a friend, play guitar and sing but i can no longer do any of these things
i lock my bike and walk the last bit by the water
what if the cat dies inside me and becomes wedged?
what if it's already dead?
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8. |
Life II
00:20
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9. |
Dog with a Bone
02:46
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Sniffing at each other, he's the only one you want
Never known another who can smell so strong
Can tip cold water on us but we can't be separated
Cos we're stuck together if you know what I mean
You can't put him down
Like a dog with a bone
You can't put him down
Like a dog with a bone
But now he's with his friends and he talking you down
Mocking you cos you don't know the things that he knows
And when you're all alone he's just undermining you
Dig a hole chuck you in like a bone for later
He will put you down
So he can be top dog
He will put you down
So he can be top dog
Now you really want him, you don't know where the passion's gone
And you'd do anything cos you know that he's the only one
But he's gotten bored, there's no thrill of the chase
And it died for him a while back so let's call it what it is
He will put you down
Just like an old dog
He will put you down
Just like an old dog
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10. |
Stinky Girl
03:40
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My heart hurts / Here, have a drink with me
My mind hurts / Take a paracetamol
The days go on without me / You know that we love you
I can't sing / Hush now, take it easy
But I can't sing / Hush now, give it time
My guitar is out of tune / Out of tune and out of time
Sit in my room alone / Life goes on without you
Maybe I should call someone / Ring ring, ring ring
Voice answers, makes me cry / Hello, can we help you?
I got up today / Why don't you get a job?
Managed to wash / You're a stinky girl
Getting thin, don't feel hungry / Baby, you will waste away
I loved him / Out of tune and out of time
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11. |
Holiday
02:45
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Jenny left college and went on a trip
Saw coral reefs and rode elephants
When she flew back to the UK
She joined right up where she'd left off
What was she doing with her life?
It was like she'd never been away
You were my sun, my sand, my palm trees, my sea
You were my holiday, my holiday away from me
Alice went drinking because it made her happy
Buzzing around, a social Queen Bee
Always surrounded by her friends
Until she quit drink at 43
Went right back to being 13
Feeling quite angry and no-one understands
You were my sun, my sand, my palm trees, my sea
You were my holiday, my holiday from me
We met in the midst of my breakdown
Going out with you was oh so fun
Champagne and salmon, breakfast in bed
Wearing your cardigans, feeding the swans
Sending postcards, writing alternate lines
Walking hand in hand along the beach as the sun set
You were my sun, my sand, my palm trees, my sea
You were my holiday, my holiday away from me
And now I'm home
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12. |
Life III
00:23
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13. |
As I Am
06:18
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In my earliest memory I'm alone
Looking out of an upstairs window
There's a crowd in the dark with torches and they're singing
And I want someone to love me as I am
More than happiness, more than power
More than tradition, more than fame
More than simplicity, more than money
I want someone to love me as I am
I've fallen in love with the crazy ones
Fallen in love with the super-bright
With the talented and destitute, the cross-dressers and death-wishers
And I want someone to love me as I am
It's easy to love the sides of me that are cute
But the lonely kid got through by being fierce and knowing she was right
Have compassion for the strident, pompous adult
I want someone to love me as I am
I've said Yes to everyone who thought that they wanted me
It's not all bad, I just feel a bit unlucky
I want someone to hold my hand while we're singing in the dark
And I want someone to love me as I am
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14. |
Life IV
00:09
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15. |
Missing
03:27
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I miss
you taking me to all the best gigs
going half and half with the belly pork and the lamb
touching your body as if it was mine
I miss
watching sub-titled European films in the afternoon
booking flights for two for next Spring with confidence
being in a signed band with you even tho it was a crappy little deal
I miss
a simple trip to the shops to get crisps being hilarious
looking forward to rainy days
The soundtrack always perfect, baby
I miss having a future that looked like fun
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16. |
Black Hole II
00:28
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17. |
Minefield
03:24
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You ask for an embrace, you want contact, so fine
We're in neutral territory, London Piccadilly line
I feel alright now, it's been a while
We waved the white flag cos it's peacetime
As we hug, catch a fresh explosion of our love
Your smell hits me like a small town thug
Just above the collar, sunlight and warm bread
Heart to heart, hand to hand, flesh and blood
Clasp you tight and breathe you in
Civilians guard themselves with newspaper shields:
Transplanted kidneys carry an infection
A 2.3% rise in the rate of inflation
My body is gasping for you like a bird in the nest, like a dying fish
Your skin is a t-shirt I borrow, slip it on and I'm dressed
Been so naked this past year
Torn up inside a bullet-proof vest
You are speaking, feel the vibrations of your voice
Your attention a searchlight, most of the time it's somewhere else
Horoscope Special, what's in your stars?
A family of three killed in a gas blast
As we part, brush the trigger hairs on my cheek
My body is a minefield. And this is peace
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18. |
Best China
02:28
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and at the same time i remember watching brokeback mountain and how jealous i was of their love and i knew i would always say yes to it once i recognised it for what it was
i'm in the process of putting the
best china away. many plates are shattered
the saucers are cracked, cups are chipped and
the broken bowls no longer stack. it's sad
this is my best china. i carefully arrange the shards in
more or less the right place in the presentation box
they make jagged piles of lethal pieces
i'm worried some of the fragments might slip out
it's so hard to get the lid shut!
this wasn't what i planned for my heart
i'd envisaged loving teas on the lawn with
cucumber sandwiches and butterfly cakes
i fancied i was made for banquets of
roast pheasant and twelve different vegetables
meal after meal, washing up, drying up
laying the table again for dinner
growing old happily with my gilt-edged crockery
silly me. but still. we all have to eat
i just wish you'd taken care of me better
if i'd known i would have used the second best china
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